tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
