The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
