This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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