No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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