Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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