oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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