She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
