I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
it glows. i had to have it.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
