Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
