he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
