I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
