You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
