I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
