I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
the liver wants what the liver wants
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
