Grow some girl-balls and come out already
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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