I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
How external is "for external use only"?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
