so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
