My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize