This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
