I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Green mimosas i think yes
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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