i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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