why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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