Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I touched a dick in church today
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
