We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
