Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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