I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
