That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
