at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
