I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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