Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize