Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
