Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
