The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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