you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize