He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
