yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
