Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
