Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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