He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
