Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
