So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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