you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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