Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
