this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize