I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
