hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
