if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
