I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
