She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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