I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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