In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
