I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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