That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
