so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
