Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
