Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
