I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
