So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
