I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
even my farts smell like vagina
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
