You're so nebulous sometimes
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
