that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
